im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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