Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thus making me awesome and them whores
My pussy is not your playground.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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