let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
