I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
