We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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