i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
