I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
