Have you finally orgasmed yet?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
