So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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