so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
