All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
