My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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