Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
