Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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