i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
