Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
