A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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