Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
