We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bring money and cleavage
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
