So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize