No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
