Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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