there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
