i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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