I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am full of burrito and curiosity
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
