hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
