If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
