I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
