Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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