Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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