It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
