My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
