i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
