playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
