I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
