I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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