no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Barsexuality is the new black.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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