i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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