she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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