How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
