Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
