actually, I'm a sock model
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
