Banned from zoo.
Again?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
