Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
