He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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