in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
