i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
