whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
