trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
