Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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