an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
