just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
