Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
