Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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