Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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(801): View more from Utah

Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

(206): View more from Washington

You are the luckiest man alive

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend

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(619): View more from California

That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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(760): View more from California

Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that

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(319): View more from Iowa

You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

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(516): View more from New York

Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day

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