super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
as a side note pls kill me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
