I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
